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Joke Book

COW JOKES

ACTUAL ARTICLE TAKEN FROM A JAPANESE NEWSPAPER On Friday, March 14, the Japanese Coast Guard responded to an SOS call from a sinking ship in the middle of the Sea of Japan. When the rescue effort arrived, they found the crew of a trawler clinging to the hull of their overturned ship. After returning to land, each member of the crew and the officers were all questioned about the events causing the accident, but after the interviews, the men were placed in confinement for suspicion of sabotage. Every man claimed that their boat had been struck by a large cow that had fallen out of the cloudless sky, leading the authorities to suspect the story had been concocted to cover up foul play. The men remained in confinement for a week until a call came in from the Russian Air Force, who had heard of the incident. After the call, all of the men were released. On the same day that the ship sank, a Russian cargo plane was preparing to take off from an airfield in far eastern Russia. Before takeoff, the crew of the plane noticed a cow grazing beside the runway. Hungry for the expensive meat, they dragged the cow into the cargo hold and took off, intending to have a feast at their destination. Once in the air, the disoriented cow went berserk, thrashing and kicking at anything and anyone within reach. Before the cow could do any serious damage, the crew opened the cargo hatch an pushed the cow out at 30,000 feet over the Sea of Japan. I've been using a toothbrush on the cow's teeth - now she's giving dental cream. How's your father coming with his dairy farm? Grand. He makes all the cows sleep on their backs. What's the idea? So the cream will be on top in the morning. Name five things for me that contain milk. That's easy. Ice cream, butter, cheese, and two cows. He knows all about the farm. Does he know how long cows should be milked? The same as short ones. What is cowhide used for? To keep the cow together. That cowboy broke his neck at the rodeo. How did he break his neck? Someone gave him a bum steer.