Family Matters

This statement started me thinking. Are there things more important than family? And if so, what are they? How does God view the family? Where does the family fit in our religious life? Or does it?

We know that God works in a family relationship. Within the God Family we find revealed two Beings, God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, who is also God. We know that truly converted, spirit filled members are now the begotten sons of God, who, at Christ's second coming, will be transformed into spirit, born into the Divine Kingdom, or Family, of God.

But what about our physical family? Those flesh and blood relatives we have on this earth in the here and now? How would God have us deal with them? Are there things more important than family? And, if there are, what are they? A few scriptures may help to shed some light on the subject.

Paul, a leading disciple of Jesus Christ, tells us that, "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Why is a person who doesn't provide for his family worse than an unbeliever? Because they profess to be Christians, claim to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, but don't live their lives in a Godly manner. They fail to represent God's value system on this earth. They are contradicting His law of love. Rejecting His way of life - which is outgoing concern for others.

We have seen then that God puts a high priority on providing for our family. That failure to do so makes us worse than an unbeliever in God's sight. The question arises HOW do we provide for family members? The word provide comes from the word pronoeo. Strong's gives it the meaning: to consider in advance, to look out for beforehand (act. by way of maintenance for others).

A true follower of Christ will be watching out for the welfare of family members. Not just providing for their daily needs, but looking ahead to foresee any difficulties that might arise in the future and doing what they can to alleviate such problems.

Is providing money all there is to "maintenance" of family members? Or does God expect more of us?

Sometimes it's easier to give financial assistance than it is to give of our time. Yet giving of our time is often what family members need the most.

The book of Ephesians gives us some insight into how God expects husbands to "maintain" their wives.

Eph. 5:28 "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the Church."

Husbands are instructed to nourish and cherish their wives. Acts of "maintenance". Looking ahead to see that they are properly cared for in the future, but also in the here and now. Doing all they can to see that their wife's needs, physical, spiritual and emotional, are met. Standing between their mates, who the Bible refers to as the weaker vessel, and the hard knocks of life whenever possible.

Peter instructs husbands to "honor" their wives. To dwell with them with understanding.

It is said that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. A man who is attune to his wife's needs will realize that she often reasons more with emotions than logic. When something is bothering a woman often all she needs is an understanding ear. Once she has had the chance to air her worries and woes she'll feel better and the husband will be better equipped to deal with whatever it is that is bothering her. A woman who is in such a fashionnourished and cherished will know that she is loved and cared for, and will, generally, be at peace with herself and others.

This doesn't mean that men are to dominate a woman's live. I have seen some few men twist the scriptures to mean that women, as the weaker vessel, must be dictated to. They lay out the path their wives are to follow. Going so far as to tell her how many hours of Bible study she should be getting in, when she is to get up, what she is to feed the family, and so forth, giving the woman no room to grow or develop her own personality and skills. A look at Proverbs 31 will show us that God expects women to have a certain amount of control over their own, and the families affairs. As the Bible points out, we are joint heirs together with Jesus Christ.

This doesn't mean that a woman is free to do her own thing. The Bible makes it clear that the husband is to be the head of the home. How does a woman help in maintaining the peace and harmony God intended within the family structure? By letting the man take the lead in family matters. Not cutting her mate down to size when he makes a mistake, but encouraging him to get up and try again; never airing his faults and mistakes to others, but with humility and meekness discussing any grievance she might have. Marriage is a team effort, but someone must take the lead. God designed that someone to be the male. Why? Because marriage pictures Christ (the groom) and his Church (the members). Wives should show respect for their husbands for that reason, if nothing else.

Few would deny that children need guidance and parental involvement in their lives.

The Bible tells us that a child left to himself brings his mother to grief. Why? Because he hasn't had that foundational instruction that will keep him out of trouble. How do we supply our children with the correct sort of parental "maintenance"?

Listing the qualifications a man must have to be a deacon in God's Church we find this, "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well." Tim. 3:12

A man must "rule" his children and household well. I have seen some take this verse to mean men must apply a heavy, disciplinary hand in dealing with their family. Yet what does God say about those who would rule in His Church?

"But Jesus called them unto him and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." Matt. 20:25-28Jesus tells us in Matt. 23:11 that "he that is greatest among you shall be your servant."

God expects his people to be humble servants. What does this have to do with child rearing?

Let's look at Eph 6: 4 for a clearer understanding on HOW fathers are to rule their household. "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Nurture comes from the Greek word paideia, meaning, tutorage, education or training.

A father is to teach, educate and train his children in the admonition of the Lord.

The word admonition comes from the Greek word nouthesia, meaning calling attention to by mild rebuke or warning. Fathers, therefore, aren't to jump down their children's throat when they make a mistake, but are to rebuke and warn the child. It is a Father's responsibility to educate their children in the way of life God would have us all lead, calling their attention to the mistakes they make and rebuking them when necessary.

A child who is brought up in the truth of God will have a sound foundation that will last him throughout life. (Prov 22:6)

Children too have their part in family maintenance. We know that the Bible instructs us to honor our fathers and mothers. Children who respect their parents will try and live their lives in a manner that reflects honor on the family name. Generally speaking, a child who knows he is loved and valued, will do his best to live up to his parent's expectations. Then, when those parents reach an age where they need assistance, the children will be happy to reach out, in love, and supply whatever their aging parent needs.

It's a cycle of life that God designed, and, if followed God's way, works beautifully!

How does Christ care for His family members? "He will feed His flock like a shepherd: He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom, And gently lead those who are with young."

Jesus is a gentle provider. One who feeds (educates) his flock. He will apply discipline when needed, but always in love, for the good of the one being corrected, and that only after he has called our attention to our sins by mild rebuke or warning (given through His Word the Bible). He keeps up an active "maintenance" on his family. He knows the very number of the hairs on our heads. What our needs and concerns are before we ask.

Fathers who look to Jesus Christ as their example will "rule" their households in love, knowing the needs and concerns of each family member. Once a man understands HOW to perform family maintenance, he will be better qualified to care of the Church of God. (I Tim. 3:5)

So what about the verse, "whoever doesn't hate his family more than me isn't worthy of me?" Does this mean we serve the Church at the expense of our physical family?

Jesus Christ dealt with a group of people who thought they were doing God a service. They had their list of "good works" that they were telling people they must do. One of the 'rules' they had was the giving of moneys to the temple. But what did Jesus tell them?

All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition.

These religious leaders were teaching their own brand of religion. Preventing others from taking care of their family, using God as an excuse. Jesus said they were rejecting the commandment of God and making the word of God of no effect. In other words, they were failing to recognize the responsibility that comes with God's commandment to show honor to our physical fathers and mothers.

What does it mean to hate your family more than God?

The word "hate" should have been translated "love less". Whoever doesn't love his family less than he loves God isn't a true follower of God. Why? Because the first commandment is "love God with all your heart and your soul". We don't compromise God's principles because a family member doesn't understand God's law. We don't lie to protect a family member, we don't steal to provide for our families needs. We put our trust in God to do for our families those things that we can't do ourselves. But neither do we use God as an excuse to forgo serving our family. As we have seen, God expects us to take care of our own.

On a larger scale the whole Church is part of our family. We are all brothers and sisters in the Lord, having been begotten by the same Father. When one suffers we should all suffer with them, when one rejoices we should rejoice with them. Unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

One woman recently suffered the lose of her mother. She expected cards and words of support from her Church family. When she didn't receive the comfort she expected she grew even more depressed.

On the other hand, I know of another lady whose father was dying. The day he took a really bad turn for the worse, her family members choose to go to Church services.

Brethren we need balance in these matters. We need to put God first, yes, but let's realize what that means! Let's be cognizant of the suffering of both our physical and our spiritual family members and let's supply the maintenance that both require.

Does family matter to God? It certainly does. Are there things more important than family?

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named." Eph 3:14-15

God is a Family. Each individual on earth has the potential of being born into that Family. God designed the family, both physical and spiritual. He set down certain rules on how it is to function and how each member of that family is to behave.

Family does matter to God! It is at the heart and core of his plan. A plan that is built on family, past, present, and future!

Let's make sure that we place our families in a proper place of importance. Striving to maintain them in the manner God directs us. Then someday we can be born spirit as He is Spirit, into the very Spirit composed Family of God.

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