Those were good days in many ways and I wouldn't change any of them. But, there is an important difference between the work engaged in during my childhood and the work the average adult engages in today.

During my growing up years Dad and Mom were always nearby. There were those few years Dad had to take a factory job to keep the farm afloat, but, over all, he was at home or working the nearby land he owned or leased. Mom might be in the home with her many household chores, or she might be out helping Dad, but she too was there. It was not at all uncommon for us kids to also be out helping or playing nearby.

What do we find today? Family members with individual interests. Often they don't even share one meal a day. Dad may have more than one job going, mom has taken a job outside the home, and the children have after school activities or their own group of friends that they hang around with.

In too many cases, parents have lost touch with their children, and why? Generally it's to maintain a standard of living. We all want nice things. But when our time is consumed to acquire those things we need to stand back and reconsider. Is getting that new car really more important than spending time with our family? What good will that car do us later on when we have no one to ride with?

What is the answer? We can't quit our jobs and go back to the age of the family farm, nor would we want to. But there are some things we can learn from that time period.

Father and Mother were always there.

Growing up my parents were always around someplace. Parents in this day and age also need to be accessible. We know that we live in a time when parents usually can't be available twenty-four hours a day. But we can make ourselves available to them when we have (or make) free time. A few questions about how a person's day went can go a long way in opening the door of communication. Cutting down on the amount of television we view can also make for more family time.

When we were little, mother, I remember, always took the time to read to us in the evenings and see that we got our prayers in. As we got older she would encourage us to read on our own, and often recommended books she thought we might enjoy. She was remained there, guiding us through our growing years and did her best to be a part of it without being overly intrusive.

In this day and age we can give children the sense that we are available by giving them a phone number where they can always reach us. And when we are at home, we can give a few words of praise when appropriate. A cheerful word goes a long way in cementing bonds, as does a genuine interest in the other person's activities, be they of personal or academic nature.

Father was head of the house, but ruled with love

Dad was the undisputed head of the house, but I don't remember him ever raising his voice to us kids. His word was law, yet he didn't need to yell to be heard. We knew he meant business and we had a healthy respect for him. But more importantly, our father always took the time to explain why he made the rules he did. The fact that we could only ice skate on the pond when he gave his permission might have been vexing, had we not realized that he was considering how thick the ice was and was thinking of our safety.

As the head of the house Father lead family prayer and bible studies. The studies weren't long or deep, but they did build family unity and showed my brother and I during our formative years that God was an important part of our family values.

Everyone worked together for a common goal

Of course, we don't labor in the same fashion today, but often with two parents working it is difficult to get all the household chores accomplished. Yards need mowing, suppers needs cooking, dishes need wishing, garbage needs taking out, clothes need washing - the list goes on. It can become very time consuming when just one or two people are trying to get all the chores done. Yet, if everyone pitches in and helps, things get done and more time is created to do the more enjoyable things of life.

On the farm our parents set us an example by working the longest and the hardest. They never passed off the nastiest jobs on the kids, but did their share and more of the work.

The same should be true in families today. Parents should be setting the example for the children to follow. Just as we kids had to help to keep the farm solvent, so youngsters today must work to keep the family unit in tact. We don't do our children any favors by doing everything for them, but neither should we pass all the drudgery off onto them. It should be a joint effort to see that things are running smoothly around the house.

Parents took an active part in the education of their children

I grew up in the closing age of the one room schoolhouse when most of the parents took an active interest in everything that went on in their child's education. Parents selected the teacher, and if that teacher turned out to be a poor choice, they got rid of them. Likewise, if the teacher turned out to be a exemplary one, they tired to keep them on. I remember my parents painting the walls of the school-room, and I remember the many meetings they attended in that room.

Father and mother both lent me a hand with my school work, forcing me, when necessary, to complete my assignments. How many parents today take such an active interest in their child's education? Do they even know the subjects the child is being taught at school, or the person teaching the class? When parents are interested in their child's education it shows the child that they are loved and cared for, that what they do does matter to the parent. My own parents never gave me a bad time when I got a poor grade, but they did work with me to try and better my grade next time. They expected me to work hard, and I tried to live up to their standard.

Family get togethers were an important event

Thanksgiving was always spent with my mother's sister and her family. We would visit one another often during the year, but Thanksgiving was the one time we all got dressed up and had a formal meal together. My grandmother too would be there as a part of the festivities. My father, as the oldest male in attendance, was always called on to give the prayer over the meal.

Then there was the huge reunion my father's side of the family had every summer. When all the uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents got together it made for a full, fun packed day at the park. A HUGE feed, games of all sorts, some pretty silly as I recall, were only part of the doings.

Today families are often scattered across the country and rarely get together for the old fashioned, 'reunion'. What a pity! If we could only recapture a few of those 'old fashioned' events perhaps we wouldn't have such fragmented families.

Life on the farm wasn't easy, and there were bad times as well as good, but there are some valuable lessons we can gleam from the past. We can recapture the spirit of family that existed at that time and, perhaps, turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to the fathers. Only then will we be truly rich, no matter how many numbers appear on our paycheck each week.

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