The lady on the other end of the phone had some information for me. Information that I had already heard from another source. This, of course, she couldn't know. There had also been a mix up in who was to do what, and I had been under the impression that she was going to attend to the duties that she was now giving me instructions in how to carry out. All in all, with the late hour, my unenthusiasm for the whole project we were involved in, and the misunderstanding over who was responsible for what, I wasn't at all my normally cheerful self. And it showed in my voice.

A few minutes after we disconnected she called back to inform me that I had been rude to her. I couldn't argue the fact that I had kept the conversation short and my voice hadn't reflected great warmth, but I hadn't thought of myself as being rude.

The first lesson I learned from our encounter was not to take phone calls when I was tired. The second, after I had stopped steaming over what I felt was an injustice, is that I should be more careful in how I respond to others. The third is that, though God instructs us to go to our brother when there is a problem, we shouldn't be too quick to take offense.

We have all offended others. James tells us, "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check."

It's often just a slip of the lip and not a deliberate act of malice. But James also warns, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

Jesus instructs us, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven."

It's so easy to point the finger at someone else while failing to see our own shortcomings! Its so easy to justify our own actions while condemning someone else's.

Scripture tells us that love fulfills the law. Why? "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Do you see where both my caller and I flailed to show love? I was rude and she kept a record of my wrong.

If we showed perfect love toward others we would be following God's law of love toward neighbor, summed up in the last six of the ten commandments. We would be concerned for the other person's welfare and not our own. We would guard the door of our mouth to be sure we weren't speaking in a manner that was offensive. But we would also be guarding our ears so that we didn't take offense to easily. And even when true offenses came we would be willing, as Jesus was, to turn the other cheek.

When should we go to our brother? Paul tells us, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." Notice that we are to be gentle. We don't come down on them like a ton of bricks. And what is to be our purpose? To restore the person who is sinning. And we are warned not to be tempted ourselves. When we bring a sin to a brother's attention it is to help that person, not to seek an apology. Paul went on to say, "If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load."

When we start viewing ourselves as better than someone else we become a judge of others. God, as our Master and Judge asks, "Who are you to judge someone else's servant?"

Jesus instructed that those who would be greatest to become servants. It's hard to offend others when we think of ourselves as someone's servant.

So, as Christians, we need to be swift to hear and slow to speak. We should be esteeming others as better than ourselves. And when offenses come, and they will, we need to be willing to turn the other cheek. And when we cause offense, let's be willing to admit error and apologize.

As Peter instructs us, "Above all things, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

And as Paul advises, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."

God, in His own time, will deal with those who cause offenses. If we do good to others we will truly not be overcome by evil but will overcome evil with good.

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